There is chastity only when there is love. When there is love, the
problem of sex ceases; and without love, to pursue the ideal of
Brahmacharya is an absurdity, because the ideal is unreal. The real is
that which you are; and if you don't understand your own mind, the
workings of your own mind, you will not understand sex, because sex is
a thing of the mind. The problem is not simple. It needs, not mere
habit-forming practices, but tremendous thought and enquiry into your
relationship with people, with property and with ideas. Sir, it means
you have to undergo strenuous searching of your heart and mind, thereby
bringing a transformation within yourself. Love is chaste; and when
there is love, and not the mere idea of chastity created by the mind,
then sex has lost its problem and has quite a different meaning.

-J. Krishnamurti

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  1. i have to admit, i don't understand what he's saying, exactly. is there a less sophisticated way of restating all this for lay people like me?

  2. I have to say, I didn't get it until recently. And even then, it might be my subjective opinion.I think it has to do with keeping what you consider "love" for the other person from preventing you from being genuinely connected to yourself and to them. So often we get caught up in the "high" of romantic flirtation and sex, and it comes to a point where you want the other person for what they make you feel, not for who they are. It turns you in on yourself more than it turns you outward towards them.But the truest love is you in touch with your deepest self directly connected to the other person's deepest self. No egoism or self-orientation whatsoever. The deepest love is chaste.But so few of us ever get there.

  3. Oh, and once you get there, sex and romance can take on an entirely different and more deep and spiritual meaning. 🙂

  4. You might like Dietrich von Hildebrand's In Defense of Purity. It sounds like there's some overlap of thought.

  5. Thanks for the rec. I'll have to check it out. 🙂

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