Assurance and Depression

"I was filled full of everlasting assurance, powerfully secured without
any pain or fear. This experience was so happy spiritually that I felt
completely at peace and relaxed; there was nothing on earth that could
have disturbed me. But this lasted only for a short time, and then I
was changed and I began to act with a sense of loneliness and
depression and the futility of life itself, so that I hardly had the
patience to continue living. No comfort or relaxation now, just 'faith,
hope and love', and truly I felt very little of this. And yet soon
after this our blessed Lord gave me once again that comfort, so
pleasant and sure, so delightful and powerful, that there was no fear,
no sorrow, no pain, physical and spiritual that could bother me. And
then again I felt the pain; then the joy and pleasure; now the one and
now the other, again and again, I suppose about 20 times. In the time
of joy I could have said with S. Paul: Nothing shall separate me from
the love of Christ; and in my pain I could have said with S. Peter:
Save me Lord, I am perishing. This vision was shown to teach me to
understand that some souls profit by experiencing this, to be comforted
at one time, and at another to be left to themselves. God wishes us to
know however that he keeps us safe at all times, in sorrow and in joy."

Julian of Norwich

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